This is the week I have been waiting for – freedom, sweet freedom! No husband and no kids for a week. Dan and the kids are at New Piasa Chautauqua. Sadie, our 11-yr old boxer, and I have the whole house to ourselves. Just like the “pre-” days. Pre-Dan, pre-kids. Just a girl, a dog and a house.
The main reason I flew home from Chautauqua was to visit with two separate friends that I haven’t seen in forever who were in Philly. I didn’t want to miss the opportunity to see these amazing friends. In addition to the visits, I had great aspirations for what I was going to do with my time alone. I can safely say, I was a bit ambitious. I have done nothing I thought I would do. No painting of rooms, no working out at the Y, no bikram yoga. I am getting physical activity – don’t get me wrong – but I am not driving anywhere to get this activity. I am very accepting of this. I feel calm and relaxed (or as much is as possible for me). I am spending quality time with friends and I can’t ask for more than that.
My first day alone I had taken off work, so I spent the day organizing a few things around the house, then had lunch and went shopping with Susi, my amazing neighbor. This was a great kickoff to “my” week. I got home in time to experience the horrific thunder storm, and, my friends, you know how I feel about those. Thankfully, I was experiencing it from within the stone walls of our 90-yr old home, so no Xanax was required :). I felt fortunate that I was not driving in it, however the same could not be said for my friend, Laura, who arrived in the middle of the apocalypse. Sopping wet, we hugged each other so hard! We met in college and don’t get to see each other often, I mean like 16-yrs since we last had seen each other. Talk about an amazing visit. We talked non-stop for almost 6 hours (I know, shocking).
Day 2 – I was at work. All was well…until I received adorable pics of the kids having a great time.
This feeling came over me. At first I wasn’t sure what it was, then I realized, I missed them. This was a feeling I did not expect, especially not this early into “my week of freedom.” I missed the kids and I missed Dan. The house is too quiet. As bat shit crazy as my house is, and as much as I complain about the nuttiness, that’s my normal. That’s my reality and apparently, I miss it.
“The grass is always greener.”
For years, I longed to be married with children. That dream came true and I am blessed. Periodically, however, I long for a moment of freedom, of sanity, of no responsibility. That dream came true this week and I had an epiphany. The reality is I don’t show my appreciation enough for my husband and the life we have built with our crazy, loud, loving, amazing kids.
I wish I was at Chautauqua, where the grass is literally greener, but for now, I will focus on enjoying being a girl, with a dog and a house.